Hello. I haven’t written in a while for several contributing factors. One, The Needler had my computer for a while, and I am sadly too stupid to understand how to get to my own website unless it is bookmarked on my browser. Also, I have been madly applying for jobs in order to prove to the Unemployment Security Commission that I am indeed looking for work and not just sitting around playing solitaire and watching Louis CK videos. Plus… I have been involved in the delightful adventure of getting to know Someone. Fortunately, I already knew this Someone, for quite some time, so we didn’t have to bother with the awkward dating phase. He has been a quiet question mark in my heart for many years, but is quickly finding his way to being an exclamation mark.
He recently visited, and as I like to give people secret code names, I am happy to report that he actually self-monikered during a card game we played with Pokester. So, introducing Belle and O.T.T. O.T.T. is a Quiet Man, until he is not, and then he is animated and delightful. But being around a Quiet Man makes our household aware of how Not Quiet we are. We are a cartwheeling cacophony of Loud Music, Sarcastic Banter and Inappropriate Humor. Playing games is kind of a crucible around here. We examine people’s style and are frankly ruthless in our approach. Once O.T.T. understood the actual rules of the game we were playing, I had to explain to him that we also Gloat and Smack Talk. I am happy to report that O.T.T. was able to not only completely school us in the game, but represented quite well in Smack Talk. I think he is going to have to work on the Gloating a bit, but that is ok. We will give him many examples to follow.
O.T.T. also introduced me to a game of his own invention in which the players have three cards and whoever wins the most cards has to answer the winner’s question. I was fascinated by this game and wanted to play it A Lot. Posing the questions is a great deal harder than answering them for me, because at this point in life, there are just some things I probably don’t want to know. But a question I asked produced an unexpected answer. I asked “What has surprised you the most about me?” His answer was The Big Red House. See, when I heard that, I kind of glowed a little because of all of my hard work in shining her up for him. I even brought in reinforcements. My ears pricked up, my tail rose like a dog happy to feel the sun on her ass, thinking all about how we was going to say how lovely and shiny it was, when he said “I thought you would be so much more Martha Stewart. But then I look around and see stuff like that…”, pointing to a pile on the floor sort of behind the kitchen buffet. Funnily enough, that pile actually contains most of my important documents, which I had out at one point in doing Important Documenty type things, but they had collapsed and slid to the floor where they remain collecting dog hair and grease stains. Sigh. But still, I was like, “Um, you read my blog. Why would you ever think I was Martha Stewarty?” But here is the thing, and one of the things I like Eversomuch about O.T.T. He sees my Inner Martha. Somehow he knows that I actually want to alphabetize my cans and have all the undies I never wear in neat little nests in my perfectly pristine dresser drawers. When he spoke of his own dream of renting an industrial waste container and throwing out the majority of the contents of his home and starting fresh, my heart skipped 6 beats, as this is a dream I have quietly possessed in my own soul. Order. We could make Beautiful Order together.
So thank you, O.T.T. for seeing past the piles and the dog hair. Thank you for quickly Whipping My Ass in a game I am so good at, thank you for asking me Interesting Questions, thank you for trying to tolerate my Hairy, Drooling Big Gay J, thank you for the Rodenbach, a beer that made you want to absolutely gag on that I so dearly love, even going to the store at 9 am in your town to buy those last dusty bottles, knowing that I cannot get it here, so that you looked like the sour beer slurping alcoholic, sparing me such indignity. As soon as we can teach you to Gloat, we will really be hitting High Gear.
Hey — and meanwhile, please check out the link below. Our State has recently created a crazy, bigoted, damaging new amendment to our constitution. I, know – awesome, right? Below is a link for a petition to repeal it. You do not have to be from this state in order to sign the petition. And you will feel so good about yourself when you sign it. Really. Martini Good.